Tori Spelling shared that her and ex Dean McDermott’s daughter Hattie asked her an important question that inspired her to break up with the actor in 2023 after 17 years of marriage. 

Tori Spelling had some help when deciding to leave her marriage.

The Beverly Hills, 90210 alum shared that her 13-year-old daughter Hattie asked her an important question that encouraged her to break up with ex Dean McDermott, who she split from in 2023.

On the April 10 episode of her misSPELLING podcast, Tori recalled the teenager asking her, “Have you ever considered what it would be like to be with someone else and not dad and get treated right?”

And the former reality TV star—who also shares kids Liam, 18, Stella, 16, Finn, 12, and Beau, 8, with Dean—said the question wasn’t about her daughter taking sides in their divorce. After all, Tori insisted that Hattie “loves her dad.”

“It got to the point where it was worse for the kids to see us together,” she said. “We could no longer hide what was happening, the fights.”

And Dean’s struggles with alcohol addiction were only exasperating the situation. As Tori put it, “He was an addict going through a lot, and a lot of it was taken out on me.”

“And she saw that,” she continued of her daughter. “I didn’t like the person I was, trying to raise strong humans and just taking it and taking it.”

Eventually, Tori realized that calling it quits with Dean—who shared he enrolled in a rehab program months after their breakup—was a better example for her children than staying together.

“On my part, at least,” she said, “the want of kids, just always wanting their parents together, I think kept me from making what was outwardly a better decision for them than what they saw between two partners.”

The 51-year-old added, “That kept me in the relationship far too long, and it ultimately, I feel, did a disservice to my kids.”

As for Dean, the 58-year-old has since celebrated one year of sobriety.

Sharing a photo of his blue sobriety chips and a poster tallying all of his days clean, Dean wrote on Instagram July 1, “Last week was an incredible week of love, hugs and recovery. Thank you to my Sponsor, my Sponsee Brothers and everyone in the fellowship for celebrating my 1 year birthday.”

Thanking his rehab center Harmony Place for “saving my life,” the actor added, “If you’re struggling with addiction, just surrender and ask for help. We’re here waiting for you, to love you, until you love yourself.”

For more on Tori and Dean’s family life, keep reading.

Festive Fam

Tori and Dean’s kids Liam, Stella, Hattie, Finn and Beau enjoyed a visit to Santa’s Secret Workshop in 2017.

Spooky Season

The family had a scary good time at a Halloween celebration in 2019.

Giddy Up

Tori and Dean took their daughter Stella and son Liam to the Bony Pony Ranch in California in 2009.

Ice to Meet You

The family hit the ice rink in 2013.

Summer Squad

With school out at the time, Tori and Dean had some summer fun with their children at the premiere of Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation in 2018.

Story Time

Dean and Liam sat down to read Tori’s Uncharted TerriTORI during its 2010 release.

Hit the Stage

Stella and Liam got a taste of the spotlight—literally!—when they joined their parents onstage at a Yo Gabba Gabba Live! show in 2011.

Santa’s Little Helpers

Tori and Dean brought their kids to meet Santa Claus in 2014.

Blended Family

Dean’s son Jack from his marriage to Mary Jo Eustace joined the family for Christmas celebrations in 2015.

Best Choice

The crew rolled up in style to the 2019 Teen Choice Awards in August 2019.

Welcome to Mommywood

Tori and Dean’s oldest kids Liam and Stella were on hand to celebrate the release of the actress’ Mommywood book 1in 2009.

One Cool Baby

Little Hattie looked so cool in her shades at the release of her mom 2012 book celebraTORI.

‘Tis the Season

 Stella, Beau and Hattie helped spread holiday cheer with their parents at a disco-themed Christmas party in 2019.

Next Level Outing

The family attends the Hollywood premiere of Jumanji: The Next Level in2019.